Backwater Bastards
Lit RPG Adventure, Sci-fi, RPG
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Backwater Bastards
Lit RPG Adventure, Sci-fi, RPG
NEW!
Listen ad-free in any app
A Realm Unlimited benefit
A team of artists telling THE GREATEST BEST FRIEND STORY that the galaxy has ever seen!
While everybody else is out saving the world, we’re just trying to find the next best place to eat.
Join us on our haphazard adventure.
Created by Taylor Van Biljon, Richard Kimber-Bell, and Daniel Matthews.
Heard Backwater Bastards on Realm yet? Join me: https://realmfm.page.link/rJzsFW9zBUoxdVgQ7
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Backwater Bastards Trailer
The Bastards are BACK, and officially in orbit! We know you’ve all had enough of being gravity-bound- so we’re kicking this joint for a new star system. Join the same motley crew for new stories, new characters, a brand new universe, and all-new game mechanics designed by our very own DM Dragon Daddy Dick Dynamite. So buckle your EVA suits to yer control decks- cause a bear and a jellyfish just landed in the station and this PILOT is taking you on a RIIIIIDE!
S1E00: Pilot Episode
Ursine demolitions expert Cleo DeCap and the Robotic/aquatic Doctor Ze are in search of an easy payout on the hulking space station
S1E01: A Meeting in Midspace
In a shady saloon, we meet an Ursine, a jellyfish in a bowl, and an aging imperialist downing drinks.
S1E02: An Old Rust Bucket
Picked up by local kingpin D.E.E.T.Z.; Cleo, Dr. Ze, and Herodotus are headed into the bowels of Mid space to bring back a...
S1E03: Midspace Miscreants
Our trio's subterranean adventure continues, as they barely escape a brush with fate, in the form of a mutated cavern beast.
S1E04: The Plentiful Pantry
Armed to the teeth after a quick getaway- egg and briefcase of credits in hand- the Bastards are set to warp!
S1E05: Hans the Space Dragon [feat. Spiridon Giannakis]
After a SECOND narrow station escape, our Bastards have finally dropped into contested space.
S1E06: BIG Badda BOOM! [feat. Spiridon Giannakis]
WOOP WOOP that’s the sound of the... local synth authorities?
S1E07: Garcia Station
IT'S TIME TO GO SHOPPING.
S1E08: When life hands ya Eggs
Our intrepid collectors of crap continue buying up the station- while the ever noble Herodotus gets a bit too saucy.
S1E09: Wheels or Wings?
All of the Bastards and their newfound compatriots have gathered back at the ship and are about to set out on a... mission of stealth?
S1E10: Keep Rolling
The hunt for the egg continues as the Bastards "stealth" through the enemy base.
S1E11: Making my way Downtown and I'm Homebound
After all that splittin', the party is back together!
S1E12: TMWNN, Squid, & KAK [feat. SETH]
Did somebody say... BIRTHDAY? Herodotus is busy bonding with the ovum - so Cleo and the Doctor are OUT! Join them as their ship breaks down at Bengaman's FamilyFun Milkshake and Mindgames Emporium - a battleground that one of our Bastards knows far too well...
S1E13: Bengaman's Bowling Bonanza [feat. SETH]
The Birthdaying continues with PART TWO of the saga!
S1E14: I Got Blasted at Bengaman's [feat. SETH]
The PARTY RAGES ON with the third and final event in our birthday saga. The time of the laser tag and the bowling has passed.
S1E15: The Replicant Part 1 [feat. Lucas]
The crew begin to trek into a dangerous abandoned research station to look for a body.
S1E16: The Replicant Part 2 [feat. Lucas]
Continuing the two-part sci-fi CREEPSHOW of corporate decay and mysterious patrons.
S1E17: Short Rest
It's been a long string of journeys- and our Bastards have earned a short rest to recap and catch up, both in-game and out.
S1E18: Monty
Good ol' Herodotus is bringing home the bacon! Or... Well, he's got a guy for that.
S1E19: The Diplomat
Endeared to the Jelly people by Cleo's love of pterodactyls, The Bastards continue their diplomatic mission from Monty into the secret mountain lair.
S1E20: Dirty Herry I
Cleo is gonna blow some ship up! Ze is about to perform surgery, and Herodotus is caught staring at an old Lover.
S1E21: Orbital Planetary News
We break your regular viewing for an urgent announcement. Eric Rhodes has been sighted!
S1E22: Cleo, Dr. Ze, and Spines
Many years ago in a star system far, far, away- Dr. Ze met Cleo in a backspace high-security prison.
S1E23: Soup's back on the menu!
The Prison King and his weird little army are the only things standing in between Dr. Ze and Cleo’s big escape!
S1E24: I'm wearing GLASSES
Turns out, the Prison King and his crew weren’t the only obstacles in between Dr. Ze, Cleo, and those ships.
S1E25: As Big as an Elephant
This is a story of endings. The ending of the saga of the jelly people and their expensive guano problem.
S1E26: The 38th Smell
Our intrepid team has once again escaped the gaping maw of battle unscathed!
S1E27: The Honey Boy
Our intrepid explorers venture further into the labyrinthine belly of the body factory- hot on the trail of the... Honey.
S1E28: Anything can be Anything
Deep inside the synth body factory, the battle against the honey boy rages on- as a rogue AI takes its wild revenge on our humble travelers.
S1E29: The Dorro!
After a daring rescue by a mercenary guild- the Bastards board their ship and Herodotus makes a move!
S1E30: The One At Customs
Join our heroes on their most daring adventure yet- as they navigate the winding labyrinth of... IMMIGRATION
S1E31: Everything's a Costume
Our customs horror saga continues, with Cleo, Dr. Ze, and the nefarious nineteen of Clan Zarg stuck together in a line.
Dear Bastards
The advice show you never knew you needed, Or wanted.
S1E32: I'm Naked
Turns out, The Bastards and their new friends are big fans of hotels.
S1E33: The Seed
The crew pull themselves from the mire of a big nite out
S1E34: Two Birds
The hunt for Herry continues, as our Bastards slowly uncover the laundry list of things they did while in the thrall of the DRINK.
S1E35: Where you going?
Cleo and Dr. Ze head back to the scene of the crime(s) to collect their booty.
S1E36: Dirty Herry II
The gang meets up with Herry- but he’s already up to his old man antics.
S1E37: Put it in Papyrus
The Bastards are making their way towards Firsnear, but it's a long ways to go.
S1E38: That's No Moon
Finally back in their own minds after a near spacewalk; our scrappy Bastards warp onward to Zarg Moon and their waiting allies.
S1E39: F.O.M.O.O.S. Fear Of Missing Out On Snacks
Picture if you will, a troupe of hardy adventurers geared in the sharpest armor...
S1E40: The Pink Panther one
We left Herodotus and Dr. Ze lying in wait in the shopkeeper's inventory room.
S1E41: BUGGA. helpeven.org
Time is ticking, as the poison blooms.
S1E42: Sack 2 Sack
The Bastards gather in the name of their fallen comrade, precariously balanced on the edge of survival, and the edge of their friendship with Clan Zarg.
S1E43: The Bandit King
Every Bastard has made it to the Zarg Castle.
S1E44:The Stone in the Sock
The skirmish rages on as Larkey's forces draw nearer to the castle - and the real fight flickers on the horizon.
S1E45: Sweet Timothy
Deep in the belly of the Terran Flagship brig, our Bastards find themselves stripped of weapons and hope.
S1E46: Fresh Prison Toilet
Meanwhile in a flagship prison cell...
S1E47: Time to find out!
Surely against such great odds, our Bastards won't be able to turn the tide of battle?
S1E48: HOT SOUP / Game of Phones
The Bastards find themselves caught in a war, but they still have their wits, their guns, and BEAR CLAW!
S1E49: Call me, Beep me, if you wanna reach me
After the ringing stops, there are decisions to be made.
S1E50: State of the Podcast
So where to now? what "shinys" await?
S1E51: The Replicant - The Dead Song Part 1 [feat. Lucas]
Lucas Duff from Ballad of the Seven Dice takes us out deep into Midspace for a horror sci-fi adventure.
S1E52: The Replicant - The Dead Song Part 2 [feat. Lucas]
Join the Bastards this week with Lucas Duff to find out what will happen to our heroes
SideArm - Mercury Underpants (Patreon Exclusive Bonus episode for all)
This week we have a bonus episode for you all! This is one of our SideArm episodes, our Patreon exclusive content.
SideArm - Mercury Underpants
This week we have a bonus episode for you all! This is one of our SideArm episodes, our Patreon exclusive content.
Lore Dive - MidSpace the place
Lore Dive and this week is all about MIDSPACE.
Lore Dive - MidSpace the inhabitants
Lore Dive and this week is all about THE ZONES AND INHABITANTS OF MIDSPACE.
Lore Dive - Gear and equipment
Lore Dive and this week is all about THE EQUIPMENT AND THE GEAR!
Midspace Newscast
Tune into the Midspace News
The Bastards are coming to London Comic Con!
The Bastards are heading to London for their first comic con!
The Bastards are back from London Comic Con!
We’re BACK from our first Comic-Con, and we’re sitting down for a recap!
Bastards Wrapped
Join us on a stroll through 2022
Lore Dive - Ships
Lore Dive and this week is all about SHIPS
Lore Dive - Side Characters
We’re back with another Backwater Bastards Lore Dive and this week is all about SIDE CHARACTERS
Lore Dive - Boris VS M8
Who will win in this ultimate match up of Brain vs Brawn.
Introducing Epic
This week, we would like to introduce you to Epic, a show from Realm
LORE DIVE - PARTY ROLES: TANK, DAMAGE & HEALS
We’re back with another Backwater Bastards Lore Dive and this week is all about PARTY ROLES!
Lore Dive - D33Ts VS Larkey
Who will win in this fight of villans
SideArm - OffCuts/007 [Patreon Bonus]
This week we have a bonus episode for you all! This is one of our SideArm episodes, our Patreon exclusive content.
LORE DIVE - Food Replicators
We’re back with another Backwater Bastards Lore Dive and this week is all about Food Replicators
Lore Dive - Bobby VS Kheen
LETS GET READY TO RUMBLE! It’s time for another Cage-fight! Or should we say, DEBATE NIGHT?
SideArm - OffCuts/009
Is that the swing of an axe I hear? it is! Brilliant that must mean there will be some off cuts for my ears to eat.
Lore Dive - Psychic abilities
Lore Dive and this week is all about psychic powers!
Upcoming stories
Upcoming stories
Short Stories | The Evacuation
As the Battle for MidSpace rages all around, Big Pat leads the masses to safety.
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